Monday 17 December 2012

Lalu Jokes


Lawyer to Lalu: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Funny Lalu : "Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
   
 
  Laloo: Beta ye kaisi machis laaye ho. Sasura ek bhi teeli nahi jal rahi.
Funny Son: Kya baat kartay ho papa sab ki sab check kar kay laya hoon.
   
 
  Barkha Dutt: Laloo Ji, hamare desh mein divorce ke cases badte hi ja rahe hain. Aapko kya sochte ho, iska main karan kya hai.
Funny Laloo: Shaadi.
enge.”
   
 
  Funny Laloo ji 18 guards ko le kar film dekhne jate hain. Pucho to kiyun?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

   
 
 
Watch aur Wife me kya farak hota hai?
Funny Laloo: Watch bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai. Wifei bigadati hai to shuru ho jati hai.
   
 
 
Ik bar Laloo ji sykil chala rahe the, ke achanak sykil Ik girl se takra gayi 
Girl shouted: Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!
Funny Laloo: Behanji, poori sykil to maar di, ab ghanti alag se maroon ?
   
 
 
Laloo Prasad Yadav sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates.
Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference:

“Bhaiyo aur unki Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amreeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.”
Everyone was delighted. Laloo Prasad continued: “Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa Appointment Letter padkar sunaunga? Par letter angreeze main hai - Isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad >> Pyare Laloo Prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet >> Aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement >> Humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence >> Ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kono zaroorat nahee.
No phone call >> Phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained >> Bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks >> Aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates.  >> Tohar Bilva
   
 
  Mayawati apne friend Lalu ke ghar GOAT le ke jati hai..
Lalu: E Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho ?
Mayawati: Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai
Funny Lalu: Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
   
 
  Train me laloo ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche Mayavati baithi thi.
Mayawati: Lalooji, apna samman kahi or rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega.
Funny Lalu: Koi baat nahi behanji, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.
   
 
 
Lalu Prasad Yadav ka funny beta 1000 Watt ke bulb par Lalu Yadav ka naam likh raha tha.
Lalu Yadav: Bitwa, e ka kart ho?
Funny Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
   
 
  Lalu : Ek Vidhwan Ne Kaha Ke Murakh Aadmi Ki Biwi Bahu Sunder Hoti Hai.
Rabdi : Ab Rehne Bhi Dijiye Aap Ke Paas To Hamaar Tarif Ke Alawa Kono Kaam Hi Nahi Hai.
   
 
  Lalu Goes 2A Shop & Asks:
A Bandarva Ka Photu Kitne Ka He Re?
Shopkepper: Woh Phutwa Nahin Sahib
Wo To Seesa (Mirror) He!
   
 
  Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai, to sare eggs tumare, agar batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hain to vo murgi bhi tumari.
Rabri: Lalu Ji, Koi hint do na?
   
 
  Rabri: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Funny Laloo: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
   
 
  Laloo dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Funny Laloo: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Funny Laloo: Maine Patna phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
   
 
 
Mayavati: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Mayavati ka Funny beta: Haan mami, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
   
 
   
   
 

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